An American epic: 20 Years of same-sex marriage

In May 2004, the first same-sex marriage was performed in Massachusetts. Twenty years later, the legal and societal landscape of same-sex marriage has progressed drastically - yet the debate still permeates political discourse in one form or another. Indeed, LGBTQ+ issues are by no means settled; recent political and legal maneuvers indicate that the road ahead may be fraught with regression. However, the endurance of the queer spirit and the growing vocalization of allies provide hope that basic human rights, including the right to marry who you love, will prevail.

From the impossible to the possible

Twenty years before that first same-sex marriage was performed in 2004, the very notion of same-sex marriage seemed impossible. Activists and laypeople alike seemed to accept that societal attitudes were not yet conducive to entertaining the same-sex marriage debate.

Amidst the turbulent and terrifying AIDS crisis in the 1980s, same-sex marriage was not in the cards for a host of reasons. Fundamentally, sodomy laws remained prevalent in many states as a means of weaponizing the government against consensual relations between queer people, lingering on the books until the Supreme Court struck down these laws in 2003. Lawrence v. Texas, 539 U.S. 558 (2003).

Adding still to the perceived impossibility of same-sex marriage, former President Clinton federally outlawed same-sex marriage in 1996 with the Defense of Marriage Act. 1 U.S.C. § 7. At the time of its enactment, only 27% of Americans reported their support for same-sex marriage. Gallup, LGBTQ+ Rights (2024) [hereinafter Gallup], https://news.gallup.com/poll/1651/gay-lesbian-rights.aspx. The Defense of Marriage Act denied access to certain benefits for queer people and remained in place until 2013 when the Supreme Court found Section 3 of the act to be discriminatory. Windsor v. United States, 570 U.S. 744 (2013).

Even in 2004 when the first same-sex marriage was performed, 12 states approved ballot measures banning same-sex marriage, including Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Utah, Montana, Missouri, and Mississippi. As political and societal tensions intensified around same-sex marriage, additional states proposed their own bans, including California in 2008 through Proposition 8.

But soon the impossible seemed possible: in 2012, under former President Obama, the narrative surrounding same-sex marriage began to change. Earlier campaigns for same-sex marriage, though correctly, focused on same-sex marriage as a civil rights issue affecting marital benefits historically denied to same-sex couples. Deterred by the lack of progress, advocates rebranded these campaigns to play to the emotions of once-silent allies through very simple messaging: love is love. Ford, Matt, "'Love is Love': Americans Celebrate Marriage Equality," The Atlantic, https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/06/america-reacts-to-marriage-equality/396968/. The tides began to turn toward progress.

"As same-sex married families became part of more communities, what was previously an abstract debate became real and relatable." Ball, Molly, "How 20 Years of Same-Sex Marriage Changed America," Wall Street Journal, [hereinafter Ball], https://www.wsj.com/politics/policy/how-20-years-of-same-sex-marriage-changed-america-670758bd. A monumental shift occurred in 2015 when the Supreme Court ruled that the fundamental right to marry is guaranteed to same-sex couples. Obergefell v. Hodges, 576 U.S. 644 (2015). By 2023, 71% of Americans reported their support for same-sex marriage - a more than twofold increase from polls in 1996. Gallup, https://news.gallup.com/poll/1651/gay-lesbian-rights.aspx.

Challenges ahead

Twenty years of same-sex marriage has peeled back the layers of society, showing us that we are not all that different from one another, and that love is, in fact, love irrespective of the genders of the people involved. We have learned that same-sex marriage is not a "national tragedy" as certain religious zealots once proclaimed. Ball, https://www.wsj.com/politics/policy/how-20-years-of-same-sex-marriage-changed-america-670758bd. In fact, the proliferation of same-sex marriage has been found to be broadly positive for queer and straight Americans alike, and the impact on marriage rates has been neutral, if not slightly positive. Zaber, Melanie A., "After 20 Years of Same-Sex Marriage, Research Finds No Harms to Different-Sex Couples; Growth for Overall Support of Marriage," Rand Organization, https://www.rand.org/news/press/2024/05/13/index1.html. Today, younger Americans are somewhat removed from the fight for marriage equality over the last twenty years, but neither they nor the rest of us should take it for granted.

Unfortunately, with progression there can also be regression. Although conservative and religious opposition to same-sex marriage has persisted throughout the decades, the political climate since 2016 has made this opposition all the more concerning for queer people and allies alike. Other LGBTQ+ issues, from trans rights to attacks on drag queens, also plague our political discourse, creating civil rights and safety concerns for thousands of Americans.

In 2023 alone, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) identified 510 anti-LGBTQ bills across the country. ACLU, Mapping Attacks on LGBTQ Rights in U.S. State Legislatures in 2023, https://www.aclu.org/legislative-attacks-on-lgbtq-rights-2023. Compare this to the all-time high support for same-sex marriage across America. Gallup, https://news.gallup.com/poll/1651/gay-lesbian-rights.aspx. It appears that a divergence may exist between lawmakers' agendas and what their constituents actually believe.

Even certain conservative justices on the Supreme Court have hinted about their agendas to reverse the court's own precedence in Obergefell as a means of peeling away widespread protections for same-sex marriage. Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization, 142 S. Ct. 2228 (2022) ​​[Justice Thomas concurring opinion]. Although such an action by the court would place authority for same-sex marriage back in the hands of the states, this would create a reversion to a time of jurisdictional oppression for queer people.

At the same time, in 2022, a divided Congress passed the Respect for Marriage Act, which repealed the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act. 1 U.S.C. § 7, 28 U.S.C. § 1738C. This landmark law now provides federal, statutory authority for same-sex and interracial marriages, creating some level of relief and consistency for queer people in the wake of Dobbs. But the fight for equality and same-sex marriage is surely not over.

Despite the ebbs and flows of same-sex marriage over the last twenty years, it is undeniable that progress has been made politically, legally, and societally. At its heart, the history of same-sex marriage has taught us all that love really does endure.