Debra R. Schoenberg

SAN FRANCISCO - After 37 years with the small matrimonial law firm she opened in 1986, Schoenberg Family Law Group, P.C., Debra R. Schoenberg has become an authority on the sociology of love and marriage.

The COVID-19 pandemic changed a lot. "It's a societal shift," she said. "The rise of remote work means that dads working from home in the spare bedroom have been playing a much more substantial role in their kids' lives."

From a family law perspective, the upshot is significant for custody determinations: "When divorce comes along, it is no longer obvious that the mom is the primary caregiver."

We are now so accustomed to fathers working from home that mothers recognize things have changed. "When moms come in now, they're kind of assuming that custody will be 50-50. They've seen the shift. It's no longer a foregone conclusion that the kids will mainly be with mom and dad will have visitation rights."

The co-parenting enabled by pandemic lockdowns has two chief aspects, Schoenberg said. "It's good for kids to have both parents deeply involved in their lives." Still, the pressure-cooker togetherness enforced by the virus was stressful. "At the same time, it brought fathers closer to their kids; all that hunkering down put an enormous strain on families. It led many to deep introspection -- is this the marriage I want to live with?"

So Schoenberg is busy, with a practice now comprised of 17 associate attorneys and 10 paralegals. "Since COVID hit, we're busier than we've ever been and it's not slacking off."

Schoenberg is skilled at handling complex financial matters in high-net-worth divorces, including the division of assets involving stock options and restricted stock units. She is the author of "Divorce in California" and a fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

Another new driver of family law complexity is related to the first. The mainstreaming of remote work, coupled with skyrocketing housing costs and other steep inflation pressures, means that divorced parents can be tempted to exit the pricey Bay Area. And that creates new hurdles for people who must abide by custody orders.

"We've always lived in a mobile society," Schoenberg said, "but now we have hoards of people looking at relocation and seeking to modify their custody arrangements." A lot are out of luck. "My first question is whether you have 50-50 custody, and if you do, I can't help. No judge in that situation will allow one parent to move away absent a very, very compelling reason."

- JOHN ROEMER