Lessons learned and passed on to the younger self, and next generation of women attorneys

The following is advice that we would have benefited from when we were entering the legal profession. As a result, we are writing to our younger selves, with the hope that lawyers entering the profession would also benefit from this advice.

Dear Quyen and Liv:

As lawyers with over two decades of legal experience under our belts now, we write to you, our younger selves, because we want you to maintain your optimism, your tenacity, and your commitment to excellence. It is this excellence and vision that will allow you to make a difference for others in the profession coming after you. It will drive you to do great things and to open doors for yourselves and for others.

We also write to share our wisdom as female equity partners who have overcome many professional and personal obstacles to be who (and where) we are, and we want to make sure you know that it is important to not lose yourself in the face of a profession (and a society) that may withhold from you a presumption of excellence, and may not even give you the benefit of the doubt! Below are some lessons we have learned, and which we hope you will carry with you in your first two decades of law practice (and beyond).

1. People will judge and underestimate you because of their narrow view of the world. But this isn't about YOU. Throughout your careers, you will meet people who will look past you, who do not look you in the eye, who will mistake you for the client, paralegal, courtroom staff (anything but lead counsel) because you have ascended to the top of this profession, and there are simply not enough of YOUs in the law. Unfortunately, this isn't just about strangers in the industry. It may be most hurtful when lawyers who purport to know you still refuse to see you or are simply incapable of recognizing your full potential. Please know that this is not about YOU - this is unfortunately about long held (and incorrect) notions of who can succeed. By being excellent and staying the course in this profession, you are changing these perceptions every day.

2. Being underestimated can be exhausting, and sometimes it will make you feel frustrated, but please do not give up. We know it is not easy. The burden of low expectations can make you feel invisible. Even though you have worked so hard and have beaten the odds to be where you are, it always feels like a punch to the gut when you are not given your due credit. Sometimes the pain is so great that it becomes necessary to transcend that moment, because you know how hard you have worked and that you belong in this profession. Invisibility can come in many forms - not being asked to work on the highest-profile cases, being unreasonably judged (or frankly, misjudged), not being put in front of firm clients or offered the plum opportunities, being told that you belong in the second chair, to name just a few examples. Please know that you are not alone, that you are worthy, and that you are meant for great things. No matter what you do, please do not give up on your vision, your dreams, and in your conviction that you belong in this profession.

3. Find a community that accepts you and that sees your magic. You are not the first, and you are not the last to feel and experience the things you do. Please know that there is a large community of lawyers and leaders who will lift you up, who will give you voice, and who will open doors for you because these individuals have also had to fight many battles to be who (and where) they are. When you feel despair or isolation, always follow the light, because there are others who have been where you are now and who believe in you. Work hard to find and to build a professionally supportive community. These are "your people" and they will have your back. These individuals have always seen you and will continue to see you.

4. Life will happen, and when it does, remember to allow yourself to live. You can always find another job but you cannot relive your life. This profession is a demanding one, and it will consume you if you let it. We are often asked by younger lawyers whether it makes sense to wait to have a family, whether meaningful life experiences should be postponed, whether there is a "perfect time" to do something because a promotion may be "about to happen." To all of these inquiries, we say no. For us, in a blink of an eye, two decades have passed. You will no doubt work hard in your careers, but please try to live your life, spend time with your family, friends and loved ones. Doing so will make you a better lawyer and allow you to bring more joy to your everyday life. You will never regret making time for those who love you and prioritizing the most important relationships in your life.

5. The profession is changing, and if you continue to strive for excellence, you will be in demand. When you entered the profession, you never could have imagined that you would have thriving law practices, and that your clients would repeatedly hire you to first chair their most difficult matters. Know that clients recognize that lawyers should reflect the community, including the jury venire. Stick to your guns, be who you are meant to be, and there is no doubt that you will be in demand. You will be hired repeatedly because not only are you excellent, but clients, juries and judges want to see and work with lawyers who look like them.

6. There is much joy and gratification in helping others, and in lifting as you climb. Although you will find great success in your career because of your hard work and talent, you will come to see that you will be most gratified when you are helping others and opening doors for others, especially including those who continue to be underrepresented in this profession. By training younger trial lawyers and giving these lawyers meaningful opportunities to succeed, you will have made a significant difference. This is, after all, what matters at the end of the day.

We are so excited for you and can't wait to see what you do in the next two decades!

Sincerely,

Quyen and Liv

Quyen Ta and Liv Kiser are partners at King & Spalding LLP.